I remember the phone call like it was yesterday. On the other end was the voice of good news. Maybe… unbelievable news?

We were going to Disney World! 

I had no idea what that meant. First, I had never been there. I wasn’t sure if it was even okay for us to go there. I knew it was expensive. Outrageously expensive. Is it okay for people to spend this amount of money on a vacation? I knew there were roller coasters, and I don’t like county fair roller coasters. Would we enjoy it? At 13 and 9 were my kids too old to go? 

Second, I had no idea what all was included in our gifted trip. Would we have to pay for airfare? No? Oh, but will we have to pay for meals? No? What about snacks? No again? Memory Maker is included, TOO?!?

That’s the story about how we went to Disney World, but it’s not really the story about how I fell in love with God at Disney World. 

It’s true. The “happiest place on earth” absolutely changed my relationship with God.

Weaving our way through the parks and going on ride after ride, I was completely awestruck by the excessive creativity required to invent and engineer these attractions. Every turn revealed a new delight. Then it struck me, for someone to be creative, they have to be given that creativity. It is expressed as a reflection of the Creator. Soarin’ in Epcot was my favorite ride, namely because it displayed the magnificence of earth so well.You are riding in a glider across the planet, visiting the Eiffel tower, the Great Wall of China, the Grand Canyon and more. But what sticks in my mind the most was being in the savannas of Africa as a herd of elephants stampeded through the grasslands. You could smell the grass and feel the dust kick up on your face. God’s creation is just so magical. It brought me to tears in worship. 

Our trip included our airfare, a full meal package, Memory Maker, t-shirts, a gift box with fun goodies and gift cards to purchase special souvenirs for ourselves. We had the pass to change parks daily, and our events were scheduled for us. I was truly able to go and enjoy my kids. I have no idea what the monetary value of this trip was. Definitely in the thousands. I struggled accepting it because I felt wasteful, irresponsible and selfish given that children don’t have food in many places of the world. 

The amazing thing about God is that He doesn’t waste the expense of capturing our hearts. Money is irrelevant to Him. God knew that in the fall of 2019 I needed to prepare my soul for the devastation of the next year. I couldn’t do that without experiencing his extravagant love. Although I was a believer, I wasn’t walking with Him the way that I should have been. So he rushed toward me in the most lavish, overwhelming, irresponsible and irresistible way possible. I was undone and forever in love with Him. 

The third letter in the Hebrew alphabet is gimel. It is the letter representing the third section of Psalm 119. Scholars say that gimel means to give out, deal or wean. Because of its slant toward the next letter, dal, in the alphabet many scholars suggest that gimel is representative of a benefactor giving generously toward the poor or weak (dal). 

The gimel section begins in verse 17 with a prayer for God’s generosity. “Deal generously with your servant, that I may live and keep your word,” Ezra writes. At first glance, it appears that Ezra asks for monetary help. Afterall, in the words of Aladdin, “you have to eat to live” but if you’re an orphan like Aladdin, you will have to steal to eat. So Ezra asks God to be generous to him so that he might live and not be led to disobey. 

It’s likely that there is so much more going on here though. Perhaps Ezra is asking God to be generous to him with regard to God’s presence. The following verses are bulging with physical references of yearning after God:

• Vs. 18 – Ezra wants to behold God’s law (sight)
• Vs. 19 – Ezra begs God not to hide His commandments (proximity) 
• Vs. 20 – Ezra says his soul is crushed with longing after His ordinances (emotions)

Ezra knows that the way to a relationship with God begins in His Word. Scriptures are His divine revelation to us. Ezra wants God’s presence. When he asks for God to deal generously with him, I think that he is also asking for an abundance of God’s immediacy. 

Those of us who are believers are given the gift of the Holy Spirit. God’s spirit resides within us. Ezra prayed for the presence of God in His life regularly. That’s a prayer we don’t have to pray, but it is one we should. We need an awareness of His presence, and we need a saturation of His presence. 

Seeing Elijah’s powerful miracles, Elisha begged for a double portion of his spirit. God granted the request, resulting in more miracles, more peace and more trust. (Elijah did great things, but he also threw epic tantrums.) We can ask for an increase of God’s presence in our lives, similar to when we turn up the heat on the stove. Sure there is even a dim light on a gas stove that is “off,” but I’d rather have the full power of the Spirit on level “high.” 

It’s tremendous to ask, “where were you, Jesus, in this situation?” When we invite Him to reveal himself in past painful circumstances, we can find immense healing it might take years of therapy to uncover. I’ve personally had this experience and know of many others who have as well. 

Additionally, we know that Jesus promises His presence when there are two or more gathered in His name. In college I spent a semester in Italy. While the country is primarily Catholic, those who know Jesus and follow Him as believers are few. The spiritual warfare I experienced as a result of the dark spiritual forces at work was more significant than anywhere else I have experienced. I believe it was because there are so few believers. It’s imperative that we spend time with other believers regularly, at church and throughout the week. As often as we can meet together, we are encouraging one another and enjoying the presence of Jesus on a deeper level than we can alone. 

Finally, it’s necessary to spend time in Scriptures frequently to hear His voice and know His character. Perhaps we’ve been missing His work in our lives because we don’t know who He really is. I hadn’t been reading my Bible often when I got the call about our trip to Walt Disney World. I wasn’t in tune with God’s generosity and joy. As a result, I received the gift with a heavy load of guilt that wasn’t mine to carry. 

God’s Word is like the rumble bars on a highway.

The second half of the definition of gimel is one of judgment. The thing that is given out might not be blessing, but instead judgment. In this section, the next four verses talk about just that. 

• Vs. 21 – God rebukes those who wander from His commandments
• Vs. 22  – Ezra asks God to take away disgrace and contempt because he is obedient
• Vs. 23 – Ezra is obedient to God, even at the expense of punishment from earthly rulers 
• Vs. 24 – Ezra takes counsel from God’s Word

God’s Word is like the rumble bars on a highway. Rumble bars inform us when we are getting off of the highway or when we are straying too far from the safety of the road. They are there to wake us up and keep us alert. No sleepy driver is ever angry about rumble bars. So why are we so frustrated about guidelines and rules for life?

If I had been checking the Word more regularly at that time in my life, I think I would have been freed from the guilt that accompanied the gift. I would have realized that I was not crossing any boundaries by receiving His love in this tangible and extravagant way. 

Similarly, there are other times in my life when I have made decisions that were not good, and I would have avoided a lot of pain and guilt if I heard the rumbles on the road. It is good for us to receive the discipline of the Lord when we are disobedient. Jesus taught that we are to pray not to be led into temptation, and to be delivered from the evil one. This is familiar to “deal generously with me, that I may live and keep your word.” Discipline me, that I may live a good life by your guidelines. 

God never wastes the expense of capturing our hearts.

It’s appropriate to ask for all of three of these definitions of God’s generosity. 1. Generosity in provision 2. Generosity in presence 3. Generosity in discipline. He is abundant and willing and so, so good.